Thursday, January 6, 2011

Cutting Down the Highways

It comes as no surprise that many traffic accidents are the result of divided attention.  Look down to change the radio settings and if someone steps out from between parked cars, you’re in trouble.  Many states have made it illegal to talk on a cell phone or text while driving equating them to driving under the influence.  Ohio tried to pass legislation outlawing texting and driving.  Unfortunately this didn’t pass.

Everyday on my migration from work to home I see evidence of texting and driving.  You can too if you look for it.  Watch for the slow but steady drift into another lane combined with the jerky head bob as the driver looks up to confirm he or she is still on the road.  This activity is occasionally punctuated by the texter jerking the car back into its lane.

But I saw a topper the other day.  It was a man driving an SUV big enough to have its own zip code with his elbows.  No, he wasn’t handicapped, well not physically at least.  He was holding an orange in his left hand and cutting into it with a knife held in his right hand.  See what I mean about how he might have another type of handicap?

I resisted blowing my horn at him to see if I could get him to cut himself.  I was afraid he’d lose control of his metal juggernaut and kill someone.  He still may have.

My wife just got a new knife.  Free!

She was our local supermarket and they were passing out promotional knives.  I’m not going to tell you who made it; I don’t want to give them any publicity.  It’s called Paring–Partner.  It sports a surgical stainless steel blade so dull that if it was used in surgery you’d have a valid malpractice claim.  It was so dull I’m not sure it isn’t really a spatula.

It's sooo dull and it isn't even sharp!

I probed around with a magnet (this stainless is magnetic) trying to find out if it has a rattail tang.  I think it’s a partial tang blade simply molded in plastic.  It’s made in China, and the retail price is $5.00.  I don’t know if anyone would buy this knife at five, but it does suggest reasons why I have trouble selling good knives.

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