Customer Watching

Any knife show will bring an assortment of nuts potential customers and over the years I have come to recognize them. I anticipate several novel sightings at the Cambridge Knife Show (Ohio Classic Knife Show) and I’ll blog about them. But the Medina gun show last weekend brought out a different one: the grunter.

We routinely see:

Snapperus excessivnous: This species has two main variants - the major snapper who opens every knife possible with a snap of the wrist once or twice and then leaves. The minor variation is the Little Snapper who selects one or two to open. This species suffers from OCD and would remain handling the same knife until he passes out or is chased away (the charitable thing to do).

Swapus bargainous: With a call sounding like “Would-ya-trade…” this bird attempts to parlay previous purchases into new purchases. This one is very friendly and quite social and never lingers long enough to become a problem.

Usamadeus selectivous: The quite rare variation is the customer who demands his knives are made in the USA and will uncork his wallet and purchase the higher priced knife. The more common variant makes the same demand, but then balks at the price. This one may be confused with the next species.

Priceus notunderstoodous: This is typically an older customer who can’t understand why prices are higher as compared to his first and apparently only knife. The confirming tell is the two-bladed folder he bought in 1948 for $8. If he shows you the knife, at least one half of each blade will be sharpened away.

Holdus internetous: This is a very secretive species and is often mistaken for the rare Genuinus customerous. They typically ask to see high end knives which they have read about and seen online. The goal is to evaluate your product and experience it before they purchase online. These customers are often found in high end bike stores and are known as Tirekickous cheapums.

The newest discovery in the customer ecological niche is Gruntius maximous. This customer signifies his pleasure or disapproval with grunts, snorts and other low pitched throat warbles. Opening each knife is accompanied with a small shrug and vocalization. He doesn’t buy anything either.


I’m applying to the National Science Foundation (http://www.nsf.gov/index.jsp) for a grant to identify, tag and survey this unique population and research why the females of these species are rarely if ever seen. My wife claims it’s because women have more sense.

Cutco: Making the Cut

Labor Day has arrived, passed and signaled the end of summer. Despite the warm temperatures and sunshine, one only needs to look at the brilliant early morning colors of the leaves to know that Ol’ Man Winter is down the road at the end of the block.

But, I am reminded of Memorial Day for some strange reason. For many people Memorial Day is simply a day off from work and an opportunity to cook out and have the family over for undercooked steak and charred hot dogs.

Many of us remember to put the flag out and thank God for the men and women who stood up and told our nation, “Count on me!” A lot of these people never came home and after all these years are still missing. Let’s not forget our children who are serving today and the next generation. We need to teach them about the value of our way of life and what sometimes is required to preserve it.

I find it interesting that knives and the military have always been associated. Probably with good cause. Cicero the Roman railed against the improper use of the Roman short sword. (“Stab!” he used to say. “Don’t cut.”) What is a short sword, but a long knife? As a backup weapon or in extreme close quarters combat, 6 inches of good steel can be the difference between you and your buddies going home or not.

One of the Cold Steel promotional disks features a soldier talking about being wounded and having to kill his assailant with 4 inches of Cold Steel to save his buddies. I’m not ashamed to tell you that tears came to my eyes.

So to celebrate Memorial Day my wife bought a knife. It seems appropriate. It’s a small Santoku style 3-inch paring knife from Cutco. It appears there are some detractors of Cutco, but the knives have a certain charm. See for yourself. (http://www.cutco.com/products/product.jsp?itemGroup=1720)

I like the handle. It reminds me of Ek fighting knives. The handle is longer than the blade providing adequate gripping surface and it has a palm swell to better anchor the knife in my mitt. The knife weight is in my hand and not in the blade. All of which I like.

I am also amused by the use of Santoku in the description. Over the last couple of years it seems to be the hot descriptor. I guess Santoku is the kitchen version of tactical.

                                                    Trimming the blog's extra words out


I’ll soon be blogging about the Cambridge Knife Show in Cambridge, Ohio. (England is too far to go for a knife show, assuming that’s even possible.) The show is Friday, Oct 22 and Saturday the 23rd. Tune in for that.

Santa Fe Stoneworks

One of my favorite knife companies graced the cover of the latest issue of Knife World. What, you don’t read Knife World? How is that possible? No matter, you should. The articles are fun, breezy and enjoyable as well as useful. Borrow a copy and I think you’ll want to subscribe. (In full disclosure, Knife World has published me but I read it before I got published and I renew my subscription every year.)

Santa Fe Stoneworks is featured in a nice article with a lot of color images and stunning knives. I have been interested in Santa Fe Stoneworks for several years after first seeing their work at the SHOT Show. My wife and I always stop by their booth at the SHOT or BLADE shows and buy more than we should. To describe their knives as art would not be inappropriate.

I was always under the belief that Bill Wirtel founded the operation, but it seems a fellow by the name of John Iverson started the company, but it has flourished under Bill. He tells me to watch BLADE magazine for another article.


I need another knife. Well, they are accessories for men.

I’m after a more “artsy” looking knife and it has to be hand made. The maker tells me he’s already working on Christmas orders, so it may be a while before I get it.

What did I order?

Not telling. But I’ll give you a hint:

Here are two images. These are dyed-in-blue wool hints.

Figure it out? No? Well, stick with it.