Ohio State Fair Cuts the Competition

The Ohio State Fair is over and I miss it already. While I can’t speak for other fair grounds, the Columbus fair grounds are amazing. We took the sky-lift to the far end of the fairgrounds intending to eat our way back to our exit. It also puts us near the poultry exhibition.

Chickens, man, lots of chickens, every place you looked! I really enjoy seeing all the variety of chickens. Some have feathers elongated like swords, while other feathers remind you of fish scales. The colors and patterns of each feather are quite remarkable. Modern chickens are reported to be the descendents of “jungle fowl.” After seeing all the variations, I can believe this.

Doing Hard Time:  20 to life












My wife and I stopped to see the butter cow, another must-see on my list. It’s a life-size cow sculpt from butter. Over the years a butter calf has been added as have various themes. This year the butter theme recognized the Browns and Bengal football teams. Keep that in mind when you see them fumble their way across the gridiron. May be they got the butter football by mistake!

New to me, but not to recent fairgoers - two dairy cows were waiting to give birth. One, the 1100 pound one, looked very uncomfortable. The other, at a petite 800 pounds, looked just bored. The vet was standing by and Bessie’s delivery was going to be public. The vet looked bored too. The only excitement was from the fairgoers.

Traumatize the kids? Perhaps, but then again maybe that’s what we need to see to remind us of our humanity and our connection to the real world. We see the doctor dramas, shoot ‘em ups and splatter films and somehow we forget where we come from and how we got here. Life is special and precious and beautiful. Let’s not forget it.

The only knife vendor was Cutco. I really like these knives, but….Oh, the price! Buy these knives when you’re 25 years old. Then you and your heirs will get real value from your purchase. They are so well made I suspect they will last that long.


Since 9-11, security is the reason for everything. The belief in security as an absolute is a trap for the un-wary. The state fair was no different. Let me make this perfectly clear, as Dick Nixon used to say. I like the police. I couldn’t do their job. They are the line between anarchy and civilization. Having said this, I know they sometimes get stuck with jobs that seem rather silly. Still, they keep as straight a face as possible and do the job.


I was worried about the two knives that I typically carry. I didn’t want to have both taken for security reasons, but I wanted to have at least one on me for security reasons. So I took the one that would be the easiest cheapest to replace and left the other in the car. I stashed my carry knife in my shoulder bag along with my camera.

This joke was on me. Each entrance had ONE metal detector. Just one detector to handle the hundreds thousands that would stream through. You placed your pocket stuff and any carry-in on a table next to the detector and stepped through the little doorway. The officers then handed you back your stuff unsearched, unscanned and un-x-rayed.

I forgot to take my keys and metal kubaton out of my waistband. I left my little flashlight clipped to my shirt, and my shirt pocket was decorated with a small wire-bound notebook and pen, not to mention my metal belt buckle. I didn’t clink when I walked, but it was close. Despite all the metal, I didn’t set off the detector. I suspect there wasn’t any power to the unit.

Security is an illusion. You want to be safe? Keep your eyes open and be prepared for trouble.



Speaking of security, our motel was behind a gentleman’s club. I suspected we might be in for trouble when we arrived at the motel. The door separating the day lobby from the night lobby was a heavy steel door with four of the largest steel hinges welded in place I have ever seen. I have seen high-end safe doors with smaller hinges. Of course the desk clerk is behind 2-inch thick bullet-proof glass. The wavy surface and imperfections in the glass made her look like she’s under water. I thought she was a mermaid.

What caption could I type, that you aren't thinking?

We had a room half way down the side of the motel and the club must have been closed, because we didn’t see anyone. We put a chair against the door anyway.